Online Dating Tips: Writing Your Bio For Amazing Results

Bio or Non Bio?

The second most important part of your overall dating profile is the written text. They say pictures are worth a thousand words, but we deal with marginal gains here. In other words, your overall profile only has to be slightly better than somebody else's to get your Rightswiper's attention.

Think about when you are flicking through, for example, Tinder. You like a picture, so you look at the bio. It's terrible, filled with errors and negativity, so you move on.

So, the pictures are essential, but all they do is get you to the next stage, and the next stage is the bio.
The title of this chapter is Bio or Non Bio – do we bare our souls for all to see, or do we just keep it simple by leaving the bio out? After all, we don't want to make any mistakes.

The overriding, resounding answer to this would be: DO A BIO AND MAKE IT GOOD.

If you are serious about getting the Rightswiper's attention, whatever you do, you must do it brilliantly.
So, we will go through a few dos and don'ts, and then, we will give you lots of examples of different bios with an analysis of each one.

The radio station where Craig and I originally met was called Mercia Sound. We weren't paid much in those days, so Craig and I were always looking for additional income streams. We created the ZIPSHEET, a weekly preparation sheet for radio presenters to use for ideas for their show.

We got one subscription.

Then, an opportunity fell in my lap to do some teaching. At the time, I was presenting the breakfast show and I finished at 10am each morning, so I had a lot of time on my hands in the day.

The local college for 16-18 year olds was beginning to hire industry professionals for their media courses. A friend of a friend told me they were looking for someone for a radio course. I had the experience and also a relevant degree, and so I was taken on.

It was fun trying to influence the minds of young people, budding broadcasters, and it taught me a few things as well. When I was starting with a new group who all wanted to be radio presenters, I gave them a short, snappy phrase to apply to everything they did when behind a microphone.
I used the 3 Cs (well, I was a teacher now!) and they were:

Clear, Concise and Conversational.

This is what I would like you to apply to any bio that you might write for your dating site.
When you sign up to a new site, I know it's tempting to do everything really quickly and get online straightaway and see those Rightswipers clicking on you right away.
It may be the quickest way to get into online dating, but there are better ways.

After carefully considering which photos you are going to use, way before you actually attempt to get online and, if necessary, getting friends to help you make those photos, you need to sit down and carefully write your bio.

You will need an idea of how many characters are allowed in your bio by whichever dating app you are using, but once you have this, your bio needs to be a carefully crafted piece of sales which always sounds clear, concise and conversational.
But first, let's get some don'ts out of the way.

PLEASE do not lie.

I don't offer this advice because of any moral position I had beaten into me as a child, I just mention it because it's a one-way trip to failure.
If you create a fantasy figure who is taller, slimmer and wealthier than you really are, you are going to get found out.

This will be bad for everyone, especially YOU!
For example, if you are a man who is 1.67 meters tall (5 feet six inches), then you are probably below average height for males in the USA; maybe not so in other countries, but you will know where you stand, excuse the pun.

If you lie and say you are 1.79 meters (five feet 10 inches), the woman you meet is definitely going to notice.

It doesn't matter how high your Cuban heels are, they will notice, and this is going to wreck your chances of finding the one.

On top of this, the height of a man quite often influences the dress choice of a woman. A man’s height is fairly constant but a woman’s height can vary by up to 15 centimetres, or 6 inches, depending on the shoes she chooses to wear. As we all know, 6 inches is quite a significant length.

If a woman is thinking; ooh good, my date is 1.79 metres tall, she might be thinking, fantastic, I can wear my super high heels tonight, and then someone turns up who is 1.67, she is going to feel overdressed and a little awkward.

Various women I have interviewed have told me that they have met a man who is seriously shorter than they have advertised. When they have questioned the man, the excuse has been; well, I thought I'd blow you away with my personality.

It doesn't matter how good your personality is; you have lied and, deceived and tricked someone into meeting you under false pretenses. It's not a good look, is it?

It may even be that the Rightswiper sitting on the other side of the coffee table has no problem with men who are shorter than average, but by now, that doesn't matter; you're already damaged goods.
Added to this, the disappointment caused by the unexpected optics of you being shorter than they were imagining in their mind's eye, and you've lost already.

I have spoken to ladies who have approached their date, realised they were lying about something, and promptly walked away.

Imagine how damaging this would be if this happened to you.

Besides, I know it's a cliché, but 'being comfortable in your own skin' is very attractive.

Some ladies try to hide their weight on their photos, but when you see a woman who is a larger size but proud of it, that can be extremely attractive and work as an advantage.

Not everyone only likes skinny minnies.

The same applies to age.

I have seen many profiles which state that the person's age is, let's say, 38.

The photos make the person look 38, and then everything is cool. However, the first line of the bio bursts the balloon. It says; I'm actually 43, but I can't change it.

This may seem like a simple explanatory line, but so many things are happening here. All negative.
First, you put your age as 43 instead of 38. So, you're either stupid or a liar. I just had a quick look on my keyboard and although, admittedly, the number 3 is right next to the number 4, the number 3 isn't anywhere near the number 8.

So how did this happen?

I know people can be stupid, but typing 38 instead of 43 really takes the biscuit. How could you get both numbers wrong?

So the next conclusion we can focus on is: you're a liar. You may look 38, but you're actually 43, which means you've done the same as the person who lies about their height… pretending you are something that you are not.

Some age lies are outrageous. Some say they are twenty years younger than reality. And to boot, put up photos which are 20 years old. I mean, seriously, what are you thinking? You have to get real.

Sometimes a profile might state that the age is wrong, but 'they don't know how that happened'. Of course, you know how that happened, and all that does is create the impression that you're a liar once more.

And once someone thinks you're lying about one thing, they're going to assume you're lying about others. And, even if you're not, that isn't good.

So, let's move on to the next element of; my age is wrong, which is; 'but I can't change it'.

Of course, you can change it. For most dating apps or sites, there is a process whereby you join up and give all your details before you pay a penny. That usually comes later. So when you accidentally type in 23 instead of 44, you only need to delete your account and start again.

This adds another dimension to the conclusions that potential Rightswipers might come to. You're now a liar, stupid, and lazy.

Indeed, the ramifications of changing your age can be much more far reaching than you might imagine.

In fact Craig can give you a prime example of this from his own experience.

Knocking a few years off may seem innocent enough but again it’s a case of that dreaded ‘inside/outside’ thinking.

I spent 18 years with a woman who was nearly a decade older than me. And she had a tendency to socialise with people even older than her. Eventually it became an issue for me that I always seemed to be in the company of older people that I didn’t have anything in common with. There were many issues that played a part in our divorce and this was just a minor one but it did get added to my list of red flags. At this time in my life I simply would not entertain the idea of dating someone older than me. I had been there, done that and bought the granddad shirt.

One day I matched with a fabulous woman on a dating app called Nikki. She said she was 37, the same age as me, and we really hit it off. The first date was arranged and we met in a cool bar in the Yorkshire city of Bradford. She seemed really nervous and one of the first things she blurted out was; I have a confession to make.

That sentence is never one you want to hear so early in a date! She told me she was actually 47, a full decade older than her dating profile claimed. I was polite and continued the date for a reasonable amount of time but secretly I was fuming.

This woman had completely wasted my time. It was a completely pointless evening for both of us.

Honesty really is the best policy because you never know whether your little white lie is so insignificant in the eyes of your date.

Just put in the correct age. Some people like older partners. Ladies, if you're 43 but would like to attract a 35-year-old man, write this in your profile; you'll be inundated with Rightswipers; trust me on that one. The younger guys love the older women. Men, the older ladies (who are nearer your age) are very attractive and interesting in this day and age. Be who you are, not some fictitious, lazy stupid liar.

So, pretending to be someone else, in whatever shape or form, isn't going to find you the one. It's going to find you loneliness and bitterness.

Of course, lying comes on many different levels.

What about using a different name?

Personally, I have always used my actual name when on dating sites or apps, even when I had a high profile job, working on national radio. Why not? I am who I am. There is no shame about online dating anymore.

However, I would say here that this is a personal decision. If you have a job or some other genuine reason not to use your real name, then use whatever you think is best. There are plenty of professions where it may not be sensible to use your real name. I'm not going to list any because you will know your job much better than me.

Please avoid the cliches. You will know what the cliches are because you will read them yourself when looking at others' profiles.

They tend to be pretty similar whether you're male or female. The list is literally endless and don't forget you will always get more info and examples in the VIP area of Rightswipers.com or on our Youtube Channel.

But how about this?

I just love going for a nice long walk on a Sunday morning, preferably up some hills, as long as it ends at a nice pub with a Sunday Roast and a roaring fire, of course!

OK, that sounds interesting, but…really? When was the actual last time you went for a bracing Sunday morning walk up some hills then ended it at a nice pub with a Sunday roast and a roaring fire.

Have you done this enough times in your life to put this down as one of your actual loves in life?
I think not, but there's a good chance you've read a hundred other profiles of people saying they'd like to do that. In fact, I'd be surprised if the roaring fire has any room left, and I'm guessing all pubs will be booked up for the 15 years of Sundays!

Another cliché is the juxtapositioning of opposites.
I really don't get profiles which say that the person is just as comfortable in a little black dress and heels as they are in jeans and a tee shirt. Or, I'm just as comfortable in a black tie suit as I am in tracksuit bottoms.

Well, I should think you are! Because if you go to one more board meeting in your tracksuit bottoms, you have problems.

We all wear different clothes to suit the occasion. And it's not just clothes. Here's another one;

I'm just as comfortable in a 5* hotel as I am in a tent.

We all have a range of likes and dislikes, but to put it this way is such a cliché. It's so predictable to the point where it no longer means anything.

I wear different clothes, and I go to different places and do different things.

Big deal.

The main rule of thumb regarding cliches would be that if you've seen the idea expressed in two or three other bios, don't do it.

If you litter your bio with cliches, the Rightswipers will swipe left.

I am hoping that this does not sound too negative, but we are essentially trying to help you avoid the pitfalls of online dating. And there are many.
So, a couple more things to mention before looking at some real bios I have found over the years.
Yes! I'm a weirdo bio collector. (Which, actually, if you're stuck writing yours, may not be a bad thing).

If you are 'new to all this', don't say that you are ‘new to all this’.

It's a negative statement that suggests you don't really know what you are doing, which no one would know unless you'd told them! It also suggests that you might not be 100% sure that you want to get into online dating. Again, this may be true, but you shouldn't reveal this until you know for sure, as this will put serious Rightswipers off.

Also, it just sounds a little pathetic. Oooh, I'm new to all this new-fangled type of thing. Rightswipers don't swipe right on dinosaurs.

Don't say that you are 'too honest'. This basically means you are rude. 'Too honest' means that you call a spade a spade (not a shovel) and you wouldn’t be afraid to tell people what you really think of them.
This will make you come across as rude. No one should be too honest; we should all acquire the skill of sugar coating the truth occasionally to avoid hurting others' feelings. The very fact that you would say 'too honest' suggests that you realize that you are extreme in how you deal with people.

Not good.

Finally, for this chapter, speling and this grammer.
Let me first say that I was lucky enough to receive a decent education when I was a kid, and in no way would I ever look down on anybody who didn't pay the same attention as me when it comes to spelling and grammar.

And hey, I'm not perfect, you've probably noticed hundreds of errors here and there.

But sometimes it's very hard to understand bios because they simply have too many abbreviations, which I don't understand, or too few commas and full stops, in fact, none.

So we are really back to the 3 Cs.

Make your bio clear, concise and conversational.
Jot down which things you want to say, and then if you think you cannot express that very well yourself, get a friend or family member to help you. Seriously, I bet you have lots of people around who wouldn't mind helping.

These days, I still ask my sister if she will look through something I have written if I am not sure about some of the details. There's no shame in it. Your friends may even help you come up with some nice positive things to say about yourself, which you are too humble to have noticed.

So, if you're not sure, please get someone to help you. Or…try using Grammarly software – we used it for this book, because everybody needs a little help sometimes.

And, if you don't want to do that, write to us from the website at Rightswiper.com and we will help you out.
Well, maybe I'll get my sister to do it.

Coming up, we'll look at some real bios and make some comments.